Unfortunately, I am not only an unemployed actor (as most of our brethren are), but I am contributing to the overall unemployment rate of the U.S. Fortunately, this allowed me to create a self-imposed, artistic retreat recently. The idea of this retreat was to take advantage of a family house in Florida (while it was still freezing in New York) and to work on my body, my voice, and just generally refill the artistic well. I planned to give myself at least one month to get some of my ducks in a row.
My goals were as follows:
- Workout everyday
- Stretch consistently (morning and night)/Meditate
- Read a number of plays (9) and screenplays (13) that I took with me
- Do vocal exercises for both speaking (based on Patsy Rodenburg’s The Right to Speak) and singing (based on my Liz Caplan Studio teacher, Karen Dryer) daily
- Memorize the monologues I took with me (I took 10)
- Make choices about music in my vocal book (keep it and work on it or take it out of my repertoire)
- Do acting exercises (based on Edward Dwight Easty’s On Method Acting)
- Become more in-tune with my type/how I’m perceived
The retreat proved to be a huge challenge – not inherently, just for me. I prefer challenge to failure; it wasn’t a failure, but it wasn’t the success I had (overly) planned. A friend went with me for the trip down and we went to Disney World…not on the goal list, but very good for “filling the well” and for some of the mental recovery after a winter where I didn’t challenge myself enough artistically. Don't worry, friends work at the park, so I was comped in...I didn't spend cash.
After Disney, it was time to get to the retreat part of the trip. I started working out daily and reading the plays I brought. But then, I had a lot of sleep to catch up on, I still had the internet (so Facebook and other outlets took more time than I had hoped) and a television. I also hadn’t rented a car, so a trip to the store was at least a two-hour walk. Suddenly, it felt more like work than the fun creative outlet I love.
For those of you who don’t know, the arts are hard; and I felt like a failure. I don’t mean hard in the sweat-stained t-shirt type, although there’s a good deal of that too. It’s hard to inspire oneself to get up in the morning and without prompting do a bunch of things which, one day, might lead to a better artist and a paying artistic career. I’m sure all artists have gone through this period, but it remains frustrating. I had told a lot of friends and family that I was going on this trip hoping to come back a fuller, richer (as far as the art, not the bank account) artist.
The last week of my trip, my entire family came down to the house. This included my young niece and nephew. While I didn’t feel like I’d done all I’d hoped for on my trip, these two put a number of things in perspective. Life is a work in progress. One doesn’t take the first steps one day and win the New York City Marathon the next. The journey has got to be looked at as being as important as the finish.
I came away from this trip not with a sense of completion, but of having progressed on my journey. I continue learning that any work is good work and that one day builds on another. Every artist needs a little alone time with the artist within. Even little successes are successes. Look at the world with a child-like exuberance and wonder. Never take anything for granted. But, most importantly, fail: learn from your own short-comings, strengthen your weaknesses, and do better tomorrow than you did today!
Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee
